The Goat’s Headache(audio)




Just around the corner from Big Lick and several roads passed the rock quarry there sat an
old farm house that belonged to BD Tarleton. Now Mr. Tarleton was a great farmer and tended his crops well. He was also a medicine man for the animals having learned from books, first hand experience, and word of ear from his veterinary friends. BD started mending animals as a young lad on his father’s farm. Since money was hard to come by, BD took charge of caring for the farm animals. If he ran into a big problem he went to the local library and checked out a few books on home remedies. If it became an emergency he would ride his bike to the real vet’s house.

The farm was quite worn but the old buildings were solid. They were not as kind to the eye but worked well for their needs. BD named all of his animals and examined each carefully making notes of all problems large or small. There was Franscios the horse who helped with plowing the vegetable garden for his mother. Then there was Rogaine the bulldog who watched over the driveway leading into the farm yard. Ferdinand was a very cocky rooster who kept all the chickens happy. There was a goat named Spergnoff, a duck he called Aargon from the starch box, Lulu the cat, Malta the milk cow and Jools the pig who was a gift from a neighbor. Needless to say, BD was trading things all the time to get a mate for each of his animals. His aim was to have as many animals as he could. He would be the doctor and they were his patients. So he came to be known as the medicine man of Big Lick.

All was going well and BD was called by people everywhere for he charged a very small amount. BD had a spot in the barn for each of his animals. He studied day and night reading all the books he could find about animal diseases.

One day all the animals became very annoyed with Spergnoff the goat. It seemed that Spergnoff needed a haircut in the worst way but did not want the hair on the top of his head to be shortened. He wanted to grow a mane like Franscois. Everyone could see the beautiful long mane on Franscios and he took every opportunity to show it off. Franscois had been a beautiful horse in his day but now was just a retired horse.

Spergnoff kicked up a fuss everyday among all the animals.

“I want long hair like Franscois. His just bounces in the breeze and has such a polished luster. I don’t understand why I can’t have a mane. After all I do have a beard on my chin.” He spurted out abruptly.

“You are not a horse. Just come over here and I’ll put it up in a ponytail for you. That is about as close as you are ever going to get to a mane. Come on and let me solve your hair issues.” Aargon motioned offering to lend a hand to Spergnoff.

“Yikes that hurts! It’s too tight!” Spergnoff cried out twisting his head back and forth.

“Oh just come and wallow in the mud for a while. It does wonders for my skin.” Jools grunted.

“Go out into the meadow and graze on the fresh sweet blossoms. They will soothe your mind and spirit.” Malta advised.

“Don’t worry about that little twig of hair up there. I have very little hair and I like it that way. I have nothing to matte or tangle.” Rogaine the dog barked loudly.

“Maybe if you got a sweetheart like my Ferdinand, you wouldn’t have time to fuss over your hair.” Penelope clucked giving a wink to Ferdinand who happened to be perched upon the well-house.

“Now I have a splitting headache!” Spergnoff complained all the more loudly.

“Well go and tell someone who cares.” Jools the pig squealed as he marched straight into the pigs wallow.

“I want my hair out of this ponytail. My head is hurting and my eyes are being stretched clear back to my ears.” Spergnoff cried.

“You are just a cry baby!” Ferdinand crowed.

“Alright I will take it down but it will just cover your eyes and then you can’t see.” Aargon the duck snapped quite frustrated by Spergnoff’s cries of pain.

“I can put some wax on it and spike it up. That will not hurt at all.” Lulu purred softly.

“Just leave me alone! I have a headache. I’m going to find me something to eat. I just might grab some of those red shirts off that clothesline.” Spergnoff whined rubbing the top of his head against a tree. No one cares about me. I just might run away.” He sniffled.

“You are a silly goat!” Malta mooed. “We will just all cry a river for you. I might even sing.” She teased. “Someone get out the violin.” She teased.

“Be quiet! I can’t stand all of this noise. I’m going to bed.” Smergnoff snorted.

The night passed and all the animals slept well. Early the next morning Malta nudged Spergnoff to wake him up.

“How is your headache today?” She asked.

“Hum! Well it seems to be gone. My headache is finally gone. Hallelujah it is gone!” Spergnoff smiled showing teeth and gums.

“That is because you now have no hair to worry about. While you were sleeping we got the clippers from the stable and gave you a new do.” Rogaine laughed pointing to Spergnoff’s head.

“What? I have NO HAIR?” Spergnoff yelled wildly rubbing his bald head against his leg.

“Well we were afraid all that pain and worry would be the death of you. So we fixed the problem for you.” Aargon answered.

“It looks fine to me!” Lula purred.

“And here is your souvenir old buddy of mine.” Franscious continued. “We saved it for you.” He handed the small wisp of hair to Spergnoff who in a fit of rage ate the whole thing. And you still get to keep your beard! How about that my dear buddly of mine?

Sometimes it is better to solve your own problems rather than depending on others to do so. At least when you do it you may not be as likely to lose your hair!

Question: How did Spergnoff’s friends solve his hair problem?

Written by Sybil Shearin
All Rights Reserved
Copyrighted 9-2011